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Well, my boyfriend was slamming into me during sex once and slipped out, and when he tried to ram it back in, he accidentally went in the wrong hole. But he kept whining, so I said 'fuck it. It had fallen out of one of our butts and was just there on the bed, staring at me. The silent sweeper: Somebody will get hurt. That means starting small with fingers, butt plugs, or anal beads and moving up to a penis or larger dildos and using plenty of lube, since the anus isn't self-lubricating. But I didn't make it; I passed out on his bedroom floor and woke up to hear him screaming for his MOM to come help! He used some lube, but within two minutes, my ass was on FIRE — I had an allergic reaction to the lube he chose! He pointed at something, and goes, "What's that? More on lube options for anal sex here.

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